Reconnected lines

When prayers fall flat, what helped me find fresh faith

I’ve been believing lies lately, that my prayers were one-way. Or worse, that the operator didn’t connect me with the Father. Or perhaps if I did get through he was surfing social media, multi-tasking, half-hearted listening: What does she want again?

Of course I didn’t think these things consciously, but I knew my prayers felt deflated and dry. My words were disconnected from the belief that my Father was actually leaning in, taking in every word, and working.

Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 NIV

The epiphany hit me as I tucked in my preschool, rubbing her back. Silent tear pooled in my ears. He absolutely treasures hearing what’s on my heart.

I’m not just another child. I’m not a burden. Forgotten. He’s not weary, fatigued or annoyed with me. He’s not me.

Give me fresh eyes for how you dote on me, Father. Give me strength and grace to lean into the sacrifice of motherhood. You see my heart and are at work in me. Nothing goes beyond your loving eye. I am never out of your hands, nor are my children.

For I am the LORD your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
Isaiah 41:13 NIV